Quarantine Vibes with Dr. Greta Van Helsing

The year is 2021 and things have only slightly improved from the dumpster fire that was 2020. And although I can't say I "had the worst year of anyone" I can expressively say I had the hardest year of my life. 

• Sick father? ✔
• Global pandemic?✔✔
• New mother?✔✔✔

Giving birth a week before full lockdown in Washington State is probably a lot like you'd expect; Shocking, anxiety inducing and surreal. Since my labor hadn't exactly gone to plan (emergency C-section, FTW!), I was lost in a blur of Percocet, sleep deprivation and general post-partum malaise. 

Needless to say my anxiety on a scale of one to ten was about an eleven.

Even now, more than a year out from that initial anxiety bubble, I'm feeling vulnerable. Like there's a before version of me, and an after version. Micha before her father's stroke. Micha who didn't get lockjaw under her mask every time she left the house. A girl who could tolerate lactose (RIP). 

What's left is an armadillo without its shell. A naked mole rat version of myself who can't handle the things I once loved. Dateline binges, murder podcasts, and Grade D horror films are now a no-go, and I'm the daughter of a retired homicide detective for god's sake. Criminal fascination is in my blood! 

Had motherhood made me soft? (A ridiculous question because a) who cares, and b) duh). I told myself I just needed to rebuild. Man up, blah, blah, blah. 

I decided to force myself into the "pre pandemic" Micha mold. Brilliant! I'd just slip right back in...like a pair of pre-baby jeans...HAHAHA,THIS IS TOTALLY WORKING AND I'M TOTALLY NOT AN ANXIOUS BASKET CASE. 

Shockingly, the plan failed, and despite monthly therapy, anti-anxiety medication and a plethora of CBD products, I found myself withering. And since my typical relaxation technique of an annual beach vacation was currently off menu, I decided I needed to give in. Indulge that anxious voice screaming about SELF CARE and HYGGE LIFESTYLES. 

BTW, I'm Micha; 30-ish aspiring writer, gluten free baker, not quite candlestick maker. I work a soul crushing corporate 9-5. Live with my husband, baby, and a wild menagerie of pets in Burien, and I don't know how to relax. Welcome to my journey... part of which includes a monthly subscription to Audible. 

I'll admit pre-pandemic Micha thought of audio books as cheating. Could I really mark a book as read if I'd just listened to it? Post-pandemic (🤞) I say fuck it. Audible books count. And even if they don't, wtf ever. 

I'm finding great joy in working my way through my Goodreads book list one Audible credit at a time. Which brings me to the point of this post; The Greta Helsing Trilogy by Vivian Shaw. In the words of Marie Kondo, "it brings joy." 

If the melodic tones of British narrator Suzannah Hampton aren't enough to melt you into a pile of contented goo, the life of Dr. Greta Helsing will. As a descendent of the Van Helsing line (yes, that Van Helsing), she's traded in stakes for stethoscopes. Inheriting her father's supernatural medical practice and being one of the only humans in her network of friends sure makes life interesting. Add in zealot monks, body glitter wearing vampires, and time in a mummy health spa, and you've got yourself a page turner. Yet, even with the dramatic lineup of supernatural problems, Greta's world is believable. Even hell makes sense once Fastitocalon explains the mathematics behind it.  

I found myself smiling a lot while listening. Just nodding along and smiling warmly as I lost myself in the weird world of supernatural London. Witty vampires, confident and capable female characters, ghouls on antidepressants, what's not to like? Plus, there's a lot of hugging (even from the men folk), which was quite refreshing.  (Normalize men showing emotion, 2021). There was a tenderness to these books. A fondness and serenity that reminded me of springtime in "nature". 

TBH, I'm not outdoorsy. Like at all. But I do love a good cabin stay. Give me Suncadia, Chelan, or Whistler. A mountainous retreat complete with fireside wine and late night hot tub soaks under the stars. That I can get on board with. When I visit a place like that, I feel relaxed. The belly full of s'mores, two glasses of wine, crackling fire type of relaxed you only experience just out of range of everyday life. The pace is slower, there's a contented silence in the surrounding wild and you feel like the best version of yourself. 

Uncle Tim's Cabin Rentals, Chelan, WA

These books are like that; feel good fodder. So, although you may not be hanging on the edge of your seat with each twist and turn, you'll genuinely enjoy the ride. Well-paced, easy to read, and charming. No mental gymnastics required. 

All in all, I dub the Greta Helsing trilogy the Great British Bakeshow of supernatural fiction. And as I wait out the rest of my vaccination period (one week to go!), I'm hoping to find more things like this to add to my self-care wheelhouse. Until then there's always rosé.

Until next time, 

Micha 

Overall ratings:

• Strange Practice-Book 1:B+
• Dreadful Company-Book 2: A
• Grave Importance-Book 3: A-

Audible Link: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B074HC598S/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_d_asin_title_o07aud_?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Thriving In: Matching pj sets

Dependent Upon: Oversized scrunchies (shoutout to Target & Kristin Ess)

Clinging To: A FUPA friendly French tuck

Up Next: One To Watch by Kate Stayman-London